


The Same Muku

by Stabtime



Series: Identity (Trans Muku stuff) [1]
Category: A3! (Anime), A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Coming Out, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Soft Rurikawa Yuki, Trans Male Character, literally the most self indulgent thing I will ever write, not beta read because I’m cool like that, trans sakisaka muku
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29662836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stabtime/pseuds/Stabtime
Summary: He’s a prince, isn’t he?
Relationships: Rurikawa Yuki/Sakisaka Muku
Series: Identity (Trans Muku stuff) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2179776
Kudos: 21





	The Same Muku

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! This was written in one sitting and is literally just pure self indulgence (yknow as a trans person who kins muku way too much) but I hope you enjoy! This is my first work for A3 and I’ve barely entered the fandom for it so I hope this is ok? This is likely very OOC in spots because it’s so self indulgent lmao

It took him a few moments from the haze he was in for the current events of Mukus life to settle. It was hard to care about any of his surroundings, all he could do was stare softly into the eyes of the boy whose arms were currently wrapped around him. Yuki looked even more beautiful than he usually did, his amber eyes illuminated softly in the ambient moonlight. 

After a short pause Yuki giggled, which almost stopped Muku from floating away completely. 

“If you just wanted to stare at me, we didn’t have to go all the way to your room.” 

Muku thought if Yuki wasn’t holding him right now he would topple to the floor. The perpetual buzz of self deprivation that whirred at the back of his head swelled now. He quickly looked away, the heat in his face rising.

“A-ah, I’m sorry I’m just a little overwhelmed. Surely you wouldn’t want to spend time with someone so disgusting as me though.” He stumbled.

The familiar anxious feeling that he always felt when he was affectionate with Yuki made itself known again. They had been doing this for a while, though thinking about how long it had been made Muku anxious. Yuki -strong and cool Yuki who dealt with his terrible flaws- had told him that he loved him in the most wonderfully Yuki way months ago. 

———

Muku had been helping Yuki with the hand sewing on the current winter troupe play then. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, they were self proclaimed best friends and it was only natural that they spend time together. They had always been each other’s rock and Muku had thought that he didn’t want to lose that for the world, he still didn’t. 

It had been silent -Yuki always insisted that he work in silence- and then Yuki had suddenly spoken up. Yuki appeared flustered and anxious, it wasn’t often that Muku saw him like that. 

“Oi, Wonder Boy” 

It was a typical way Yuki addressed him. If Muku hadn’t known him as well as he did he would have thought nothing of it. 

“Yes?” He responded, after a brief pause where he mulled his increasingly loud thoughts over in his head.

“This is dumb. But, I just wanted to tell you that I like you that’s all. You’re a good person.”

It was slightly more shaky but he said it as he would have said anything else. The deadpan tone that Muku had learned to attribute to Yuki. 

Yuki, who came to him because he trusted him. Who let him hold his hand when he was scared and let him gush about his interests. The same Yuki who he had an unreasonably large crush on, the person who made him learn what love actually was like.

It was the same Yuki he told himself, and he was the same Muku. The same Muku who would mess up every good thing that happened to him. He was sure his face was as red as it possibly could be by now. He tried to think of some way to explain how much he loved him but his thoughts were cut off.

“It’s ok if you don’t reciprocate, I know you’re probably straight and you get a lot of confessions all the time but-“

“No!“ Muku cut him off “I mean, uh, I-I like you too. You are the coolest person I’ve ever met.”

Those amber eyes that he had to remind himself belonged to the same person who snapped at everyone and who never seemed to stop drowning peered down with him with a gentle expression of surprise. 

“Okay” Yuki sighed out a breath he seemed to be holding in. “Well we still have work to do, I just wanted to let you know.” 

They both blushed in the awkward silence that followed Yuki’s final statement but soon after they retired to work. Well, Yuki did, Muku merely stared down at his work while his brain proceeded to go at a thousand miles a minute. 

He should be happy right? Muku loved love, he loved hearing about relationships and romance manga and affection. But as he sat there, letting what had just happened sink it he couldn’t help feel more and more anxious. Since Muku had a secret, that no matter how he tried convince himself just to tell Yuki he couldn’t make himself do it. 

Muku was a prince of course. A prince in the body of a girl and though he had so carefully concealed it, he did not know how Yuki would think of him if he knew. 

Surely he would hate him, the same way his parents did and so many others who knew this about him did. Even if he was ok with his condition, Yuki would definitely see him as a girl and he didn’t know if he could stand existing as a girl ever again. But at the same time he knew that he loved Yuki, and now he knew Yuki felt the same way. 

———

That day felt like ages ago to Muku now but the secret he had still sat heavy on his conscience. But here he was, in the room that he had asked Kazunari to be out of for the night and Yuki was in front of him. He had no chance of backing down now, it was just him and this boy he loved.

“Wonderboy? Are you ok?” 

“Y-yeah, there’s just-“ Muku’s breath hitched, he was really doing this wasn’t he? “Something I need to tell you.”

He felt the tears forming in his eyes. Yuki must have noticed as well because he brought one of his hands up to cup at Muku’s cheek. 

“Hey, it’s ok Muku.” Yuki’s voice was a softer version of his usual deadpan. 

For the past however long it had been since that evening, Yuki had become even more protective of his cotton candy haired friend. They weren’t dating, but more often than not when they had free time they would lay in each other’s arms like the couples in Muku’s shoujo mangas. 

They had kissed a few times, in moments where the insistent need of teenage yearning required they get some of their feelings out. It was clear Yuki wanted more and Muku had immense guilt because of this. Yuki had been so respectful of him though and he was so grateful.

Now he was sure he was going to ruin that

With a silent and gentle apology to Yuki, he began to try to explain.

He inhaled.

“Well? Say it whenever, hopefully while we’re still young.”

Muku felt a smile threaten to emerge from the wisecrack, he was sure his blood was pure adrenaline at this point.

“I-“

He buried his face in the shorter boy’s shoulder.

“I’m trans.” 

He said it in a way that was barely audible but all he could do was freeze, horrified by his own foolishness. 

“Oh, so you want to be a girl? Should I call you Wonder Girl then?” Yuki was calm, a stone pillar that stood to support whatever Muku was mumbling. Muku’s mess of thoughts felt so incredibly grateful for the boy in front of him.

“N-no, I was born a girl. I don’t want to be a boy though Yuki-kun, I am a boy and I always will be a boy but my body is female and I know you will probably not like that and I’m sorry. I love you so much and you’re probably disgusted by me and that’s ok because everyone else who knows is disgusted by me besides Juu-kun and Kumon-kun but I want to be the one you love and I know you won’t because of this. And even if you still love me I know you see me as a girl now and I can’t stand being seen as a girl and I’m sorry.”

The words slipped out of his mouth before he could even consider what they meant. He felt his voice get louder, it reverberated thick with emotion. He could barely breathe, surely he would die.

“He-Hey, it’s ok Muku” 

Muku’s mind skidded to a halt as the shorter boy next to him wrapped his arms tighter around him.

Yuki pressed his lips to Muku’s temple, and breathed deeply. 

“I’m not good at this stuff but, I know that I care about you and I don’t think you being any gender could change that. It’s like your mangas though right? People who love each other are always going to be there for each other, I want to be there for you.”

Muku’s heart which had previously sunk into the pits of his body fluttered. He hadn’t been expecting that to happen at all. 

Pulling his face out of the crook of Yuki’s neck, he stood up a little straighter and settled his eyes where they were most comfortable, locked in line with Yuki’s. If this was a shoujo manga this would be when the protagonist and love interest would kiss, they would tell each other that they loved each other. 

Instead of kissing him though, Yuki laughed. 

“This whole time you’ve been amazing at costumes!! I never would have guessed that you were biologically female, you have such a flat chest and you have no curves? How do you do that?”

Muku blushed for the nth time that night. 

“W-well I use a chest binder and I try to stay in shape so that I appear more masculine.”

None of the current events surrounding Muku made sense. Why wasn’t he calling him a girl?

Yuki smiled at him though. 

“That’s incredible, you’re incredible Wonderboy. I can kind of understand, people always mistake me for a girl and it is quite exhausting.”

Muku’s heart had now abandoned the pits of his stomach and was now soaring. 

“You are amazing too Yuki-kun, thank you.” Muku pressed his face against Yuki’s cheek. “Thank you so so much.”

Yuki leaned back for a bit and Muku could feel himself start to panic. What if this was a dream? What if Yuki was just playing a six joke on him?

Yuki bringing his hand to his cheek paused his anxieties though. In shoujo manga this would definitely be when they would kiss. And they did, Yuki pressed his lips calmly against Muku’s and all of Muku’s rambling thoughts cleared. The only thing that mattered at that moment was that the same Yuki that was kissing him now was the Yuki that he loved. He was the same Muku he had always been, and he kissed Yuki the best that he could.

Yuki’s fingers tangled in his hair as he stumbled backwards. Yuki was unreasonably good at kissing, for someone with basically no experience, Muku found himself struggling to reciprocate but soon they found a rhythm of lips pressing gently against each other.

Muku decided to take some amount of lead and he pressed his tongue tentatively against Yuki’s lower lip and was soon granted access. He had read many mangas where people kissed but nothing could prepare him for the closeness he felt to the boy that he so dearly loved.

As they broke apart for air, Muku breathing shakily. 

“I love you Yuki-kun” he breathed, his face pressed against the other boy’s neck.

“I know.” Muku pouted. “I love you too though, I would love to be your boyfriend if that would be ok with you Wonderboy.” 

Perhaps things could be okay, good even.

“I would love to.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my emotional turmoil!!! If you liked it or want to chat with me hmu on Twitter @pheogy
> 
> I actually have a lot of stuff planned for trans Muku stuff because I’m so full of emotions for muku and for Yuki and all the rest of mankai hello I love them all.


End file.
